We’re West Bromwich Albion, we’re doing alright…

West Bromwich Albion – Premier League.

So, there it is. 2010/11 done and dusted.

11th in the table meaning we’re well and truly mid-table mediocrity.

In the 11 years I’ve been properly going to games and understanding what’s going on, I can safely say this has been the best season to date. Mowbray’s championship was special, but this season has been truly wonderful.

Maybe it’s because I moved away form the moaners in the Brummie this season, but I can’t remember a season at The Hawthorns with so many euphorically joyous moments on row VV. You! Me! Dancing! Why the fuck not!?

The highs were indeed numerous – which makes a bloody change – but a few moments in particular stood out…

1. I will never, ever forget the moment when Brunt’s second penalty shot past Reina and nestled into the bottom right-corner, and neither will my shins for that matter. I still have the scars.
2. 6 minutes to go, 10 men, Mulumbu, one-on-one, the old enemy, back-of-the-net, 26 years of hurt ended. The Brummie Road roar back with a vengeance. Shit on the Veella.
3. Thanks Lokomotiv. Not only for the gem that is Saint Peter, but for the dignified and classy manner we showed mother Russia exactly what we think of Racism. Proud to be a baggie.
4.  Mulumbu (wuuuohh). Never has Depeche Mode sounded so good, and never has Kaka been so worried. Player of the season and rightly so in my humble opinion. He might not be the tallest, or quickest, or the most skilful and he may make the odd daft challenge, but you get 100% every time. You can’t ask for more than that.
5. Pacing up and down the living room when leading at the Emirates with 5 minutes to go. Epic. We’re actually quite good, aren’t we?
6. 92. My new favourite number. Or the minute which broke dingle hearts – Vela will forever go down in Albion folklore.
7. The goal of the season. I was there to see it. It was also the first time I’d seen the Albion pick up points away from home. The only negatives from the Lane was the sauna like heat in the top tier and the moronic chap serving me a beer and burger that he somehow got to cost £5 more than advertised.
8. Comebacks. Never say die, never give up, results from adversity. That’s why we stayed up.

It wouldn’t be Albion without lows, and there were plenty of those too (unfortunately)…

1. West Ham at home. This was my lowest point of the season. Throughout, I was convinced we’d be ok, but even I questioned whether we could survive after this shambles. I have never been so angry after a match before (good job I didn’t go to Ipswich)…
2. Ipswich away. Even though I wasn’t there, didn’t listen and had a top night graduating in Cheltenham, the baffling post match justifications of the then coaching staff raised serious eyebrows.
3. Blackpool away. Not because of anything Albion did – Jara aside – but because of the inept refereeing display that started our disastrous run, and ultimately cost Roberto’s job. “9 men and we’re taking the piss”, if only we had 10.
4. Citeh away. My first away game of the season, and a pretty miserable one. I can’t actually remember anything from the game, apart form Tevez running the show. That and getting soaked. And being shocked in the car on the way home hearing Robbie had gone. Isn’t hindsight wonderful?

You could list so many highs and lows, and I’m sure all of us have our own special moments from this season. But there is one high I’m leaving until last:

Survival.

Objective achieved. Robbie, thank you getting us back here, and for setting this season up for us. Roy, thank you for steadying our ship and guiding us to some scintillating  form to ensure our best ever goal return and points tally in the Premier League.

Time to relax and savour the moment of mid-table mediocrity. Heady heights for the Albion, but one I could certainly get used to.

I just hope we can say the same this time next season… 17th anyone?

So, as the season slowly fades away into the memory banks… I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Roll end credits.

Boing Boing.

Tchoyi Division

Newcastle 3 – 3 Albion

A scoreline – and match for that matter – that typified our season entirely.

Dodgy defending, individual errors, moments of brilliance, clawing a result from the brink of disaster. Yet another point gained from a losing position.

I think Newcastle is probably that longest trip I could put up with on a coach; 4 hours (plus an extra 15 minutes as “Paddy the buzz driver” decided to head south down the M5 instead of north) is about as much as my 6 ft 1 frame can take sitting down for that long.

But St James’ is worth the wait. It’s huge, and high.

I think I can see my house?

Spot the inflatable

The first half, to be honest, was pretty awful. I don’t particularly remember anything about it, apart from; how quiet the ground was apart form the top corner of the toon toon barmy army, what a lovely view, and how itchy my Bomber wig and ‘tash was.

On the basis of the first 45, there’s clearly some work to be done this summer, despite ultimately finishing 11th with this bunch.

Second half was much better, for three reasons:

One, because we actually looked a bit better, two, because we were sporadically boinging at the W*lves flirting with relegation. Jammy fuckers.

And three – Tchoyi. He will tear you apart again. He’s the sort of player who somehow manages to effortlessly combine looking a world-beater with being a complete numpty. One minute utter brilliance, the next another head-in-hands moment. At least he’s unpredictable…

But you can’t deny his hat-trick goals. He’s got something of a knack for scoring against the Toon hasn’t he? All three were well taken, and all three considerably more than Marc-Antoine Fortune offered for 60 minutes or so, unless offsides count for something these days?

All in all a good day, and considering I was fearing a 5-0 reverse jobber when Olsson found the back of our net, probably the right result given our second half showing.

I must remember to bring my Geordie translator next time (‘we don’t know what you’re saying’) and I must remember to incorporate those half-time Geordie exercise routines when I next hit the gym.

Boing Boing.

3 and easy.

South Staffordshire 3 – 1 Albion

Right, better get this out of the way then.

If we weren’t safe, and hadn’t earned that safety by beating the Veella last weekend with 10 men, then this post would become a bit of a rant. As it is, I can put up with the lack of effort, desire, commitment, concentration, defensive errors and not turning up for 60 minutes knowing that we’ve already won the war.

But this battle was particularly brutal. And it hurt.

That performance was a sinister tribute to the dark days of our bad run under Di Matteo, and of previous non-shows under Mowbray. The traditional set-piece ‘shitness’ for want of a better word returned with a bang, and defensive frailties resulting in a solitary clean sheet this season were clear for all to see.

I don’t like W*lves, but I’m gracious enough to admit the better team won on the day. The old football cliché of ‘wanting it more’ was actually tangible today, they were clearly more ‘up for it’ than we were – although gifting them 3 goals didn’t particularly help.

When we did finally decide to play sensibly, we actually looked threatening. Threatening and utterly frustrating at the same time.

All in all, this made for a pretty miserable start to Sunday, and a miserable smudge on Roy’s record to date. The only positive was patches of the second half – we saw brief glimpses of why we have survived this season, but not enough of them.

It’s a massive win for W*lves in their battle to beat the drop. I’m just glad we’re not in it.

Will be missing the Everton game, so time to find some 70s gear for the long trip up to Toon.

Best forget what happened today. Put it to bed. Move on. Bigger picture etc….

we only need 10 men

Albion 2 – 1 The Vile

There’s plenty of naughty words in this one…

Don’t have the energy to write anything particularly good or majorly profound, so will use the following to some up the day:

SHIT ON THE VILLA, SHIT ON THE VILLA TONIGHT
SHIT ON THE VILLA, SHIT ON THE VILLA TONIGHT
SHIT ON THE VILLA, SHIT ON THE VILLA TONIGHT
EVERYBODY SHIT ON THE VILLA
COS THEY’RE FULL, OF, SHIII-IIII-IIITTTEEE

VEELLA (high pitched voice)
VEELLA (high pitched voice)
VEELLA (high pitched voice)

When you score a volley and when you score a head, I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough…
When you’re running down the wing towards the Smethwick End, I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough…
You score a goal down the Brummie Road, and I just can’t seem to, get enough of….
DE DE DE DE DE DE DE, DE DE DE DE DE DE DE, DE DE DE DE DE DE DE, ODEMWINGIE

Mulumbu, wuuuoooohhhh
Mulumbu, wuuuoooohhhh
He comes from Africa, he’s better than KaKa
MULUMBU, WUUUOOOHHHHH

The wolves are shit, but they’re better than you…
The wolves are shit, but they’re better than you…
(admittedly, credit where it’s due, was a good one from the Veella, but it was such a silly song choice to be belting out previously, especially with 5 mins to go…ha!)

So, yeah, think that sums it up pretty well to be fair.

What!? Oh give us a break, we haven’t beaten them for 26 years.

On a more serious note, that was probably one of our poorest performances this season. The first half completely passed us by with Mulumbu and Scharner looking pretty overrun in the middle for the most part, and Veellas wingers looking menacing. The second was better, but the Veella still looked more likely to go on to score a second. Having said that, for all their possession, they didn’t really do anything with it. Credit has to go to Meite and Olsson.

Luckily, some peculiar substitutions, Odemwingie and a whole lot of effort from the remaining 10 baggies ensured we got something out of the game. You’d be hard-pressed to say we didn’t deserve something from it, but they must be livid to come away with nothing.

There were people in the stadium – myself included – who have never seen us beat the traditional enemy. The reactions of those of a certain age and above (to put politely) showed exactly what this result meant to the Albion. The final scenes were evident enough of this. I’d love to have terraces back to see a proper boing boing.

A top day. 43 points, and we’re effectively safe.

Don’t let anyone say otherwise, we deserve to be here next season. Just look at our results – big boys, you’re having a laugh.

Time for a few beverages to cool my throbbing vocal chords, mainly from all that high-pitched “Veella” squealing.

Up the baggies.

I just can’t get enough….

Tottenham 2 – 2 Albion

What a glorious day for football, particularly in the Antwerp Arms which was well and truly yam yam for an afternoon.

Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, Albion produce another dogged performance, Odemwingie scores again, and Cox produces a stunner to earn a point. Not a bad day out at the Lane…

It’s fair to say none of us really had any expectations today – I’d have happily settled to see us just get a goal having never seen the Albion score a competitive one away from home before.

Gladly we got 2, and they were both beauties.

Basked in sunshine – and in typically strong voice – we started the game really well, with Odemwingie grabbing an early lead with a sublime strike to beat Gomes. After that, Tottingham grew into the game, with Kaboul and Bale effectively having free reign down either flank, and Modric and VdV causing problems in the middle.

Having said that, Scott didn’t have that much to do, until Pavlyuchenko hit a fine effort off the post. All square at the break.

Spurs continued where they left off in the second, and grabbed a deserved lead when Defoe was given a bit too much time and space to fire in his 100th goal. At that point, with the home fans reminding us they were still here after all, it looked like a second successive defeat was on the cards.

But as mentioned before, this Albion team is made of sterner stuff these days. At 2-1, you could sense there was another goal coming, and with Albion looking better on the counter, you sensed we’d get at least one more chance.

Simon Cox. Take a bow. Edge of the box, rasping shot looping over the flat-footed Gomes and nestling nicely in the top corner. Pick that one out. Away fans in raptures, “super Simon Cox” echoing round the Lane. A goal deservingly giving us a share of the spoils, and more importantly, a goal that took us to the magical 40 point mark.

Is 40 points enough this season? You could argue either way. But with many of the bottom 5/6 still having to play each other, you’d have to say we’d have to properly screw this up to go down from here.

I’ll leave you with a tribute to our two goal scoring heroes with a bit of Depeche Mode and the always “brilliant” KC and The Sunshine Band.

Bring on the Veella.

A bridge too far

Albion 1 – 3 Chelsea

So there it is. Our first defeat under Roy, and you have to say it was fully deserved. Chelsea were far and away the best team to have played at The Hawthorns this season, a classy outfit, despite Torres being offside more times than he touched the ball in his brief cameo. Even when he did find the back of the net, the offiside flag was raised again, much to the delight of the home masses. What a waste of money indeed, Carroll looks a snip at £35m at the moment…

Unfortunately, from our point of view, it was a return of the bad old days at the back. Arguably, all 3 goals were preventable and a result of some form of dodgy defending. It also meant Odemwigie’s well taken 12th of the season was scad consolation. The likes of Chelsea are difficult to beat as it is without gifting them goals as we did.

Carson has had his critics this season, some justified, some not, so I was more than happy to see him return to some form in recent weeks. That all came un-done yesterday. But then, a few players weren’t at the races either.

Hand on heart, I don’t think any of us actually expected to get a point, let alone 3 yesterday. We’ve got bigger games coming up that should see us get to the 42 point mark I think will see us properly safe.

Although, I did the BBC predictor the other day with the team in 17th staying up on 38, so we might be alright if push came to shove. It should be said however I also had the Veella going down on goal difference, and South Staffordshire staying up. Properly not that realistic of a prediction in that case…

On to Tottingham now which I am attending and thoroughly looking forward to. We’ll need to shape up at the back, but I expect Roy will have them drilled again. Not expecting anything, so intend to enjoy my day – although I’ll probably need to bring my cockney translator to understand what the home fans will be singing.

Cor blimey guv.

“… and it’s on towards Odemwingie, who pulls it back again, it’s SCHARRNNNAAAAAA!!…”

Sunderland 2 – 3 Albion

It’s a kinda new feeling all this, unbeaten in 7 (that’s, seven) Premier League games, looking decidedly tougher to beat, winning away… what the hell is going on!?

I’ve supported Albion long enough to know you never count your chickens too early, but 39 points, 7 clear of the bottom three – who incidentally have to get 7 MORE points than us for us to go down – surely we’re… no, I’m not saying it…

Unfortunately for me, this was the first game I’ve not been at or able to watch for a long time, so I had to rely on a dodgy internet feed and the always brilliant Albion radio, worth the money alone for Dave Bowler. Wasn’t a pleasant feeling re-discovering  the tension of listening to the commentary and feeling sick for the last 5 minutes of play. Time literally stands still when you’re not at the game. It also meant I couldn’t be amongst the vociferous 3,000 invading baggies fans – I’ve really got to seriously consider an away season ticket next season…

The build up to this game had the air of the inevitable about it. Sunderland hadn’t scored for ages and hadn’t won for ages, an Albion seem to have this uncanny ability to play teams or players when they turn the corner and get back on track (Rooney scoring at The Hawthorns for example).  Put it like this, I hope you’ve all put your mortgage on Torres scoring for Chelsea next Saturday… All in all this meant my new-found pre-match confidence had a slightly cautious undertone.

And, right on queue, Sunderland get off to a flier early on, then score a belter to go in 2-1 up at half-time.

But this Albion team are built of sterner stuff these days.

I’ve lost count of the times we’ve conceded the first goal this season, and equally, more importantly, lost count of the times we’ve gone on to get points after conceding the first goal.

Character, commitment, desire, belief and a never-give-up attitude of late means 2-1 to Sunderland finished 3-2 to the Albion. Our last 2 goals especially were the perfect visual metaphor for this togetherness and team-spirit. If you find 2 better team goals this weekend, please forward them on to me. Football on the floor, played into feet, one-touch, work the space, goal. Boing bloody Boing. These, luckily, were also the only 2 moments the online stream captured without stuttering.

The Gods of football were clearly pleased with Albion this weekend too, as I’m pretty sure every single result went in our favour.

These are special times. 3rd in the form league tells its own story, as Roy remains an absolute messiah at the moment. We’re hitting form at the right time, and boy does it feel good. Crucially, the pressure is now off the next 2 games, against teams we probably won’t get anything off. Still can’t wait for my visit to White Hart Lane mind…

This battle is ours to lose now. The end is in touching distance.

We are Albion, and I can’t get enough of it. I love this club.

(Kinda smile to myself now at how utterly seething I was after the Hammers capitulation. That, thankfully, feels a lifetime ago now…)